Blog post - week 1 Communication and Collaboration

     Well, if I were going to choose someone who demonstrates competent communication in the context of family issues, it would be my basically "adopted mother" Donna.  We call her "Mom", "Auntie Donna" and sometimes "Mimi".  When I was in college, I would come home for breaks and vacations to Auntie Donna's house to live since my family moved away to another state and so she was like my adopted mom.  What was different about her kind of communication was that it was the first experience I had with unconditional love and acceptance and this influenced the kind of communication we had.  I will always remember having an argument with her and I must have looked terrified because as we were hashing things out, she looked at me and said, "Cari, I need you to know that even though we are having a fight, I still love you."  This was a very powerful statement for me at this time because my past had taught me that when I became too difficult, I was no longer worth the trouble.  To hear that regardless of my behavior or my attitude, she was going to love me  no matter what?  This was a life changing realization for me.
     When it comes to my own children, I use this same kind of philosophy.  My oldest just turned 12 and we have had this conversation already, that no matter how he behaves I love him regardless and I always will!!  I hope he feels the safety and the love that I felt when Auntie Donna said it to me.  It also made me feel important and I always want my kids to feel important enough to me that I will never walk away from them or forget about them and that I am always here for them.  They may not like what I have to say all the time but I will always be truthful and I will always have their best interest at heart,  This is the kind of communication I want to have with most people.  I want to be honest and open and loving because I believe the average person really appreciates it.  As do I.