Non-Verbal Communication (Week 2)

     For this week's assignment we were instructed to watch a television show that we were not familiar with while the volume was turned down to see what we could learn about the show, based on the non-verbal communication taking place.  I chose a show I had never watched called "Psych".  From what I could gather without the volume, this show is about a man, possibly a police officer, and his partner (I am assuming) and I think they were trying to solve a crime.  The two men were working with police officers who looked and acted more like police officers but they did not always look happy with the two men.  I got the feeling that they were tolerant of the men, but they did not necessarily enjoy their presence.  At one point in this episode, one of the men's parents were involved (I assume they were his parents based on the greeting they gave each other).  This show moved quickly from scene to scene and was not very entertaining to watch without the volume up.
     About halfway through the show, I turned the volume up and it seemed like I was basically right about most of my assumptions.  There was a lot of dialogue during the second half of the show and even though they did not introduce themselves, I am pretty sure most of my assumptions were correct.  I do believe that there are shows that O watch on a regular basis that I could probably know what is happening with no volume, based on the watching the characters.  I think being familiar with a person makes that person's body language familiar so much so that you do not need to hear what they are saying.
     A good example of this is how familiar I am with my own children's body language.  I can tell from across a playground, without hearing a word, if they are having a problem with each other or with another kid, just by their body language.  At the same time, I can know if they have made a friend or are tired or bored.  They are my kids and I make it my job to know what they want, even when they may not know it yet.
    I think what this assignment has taught me is that the non-verbal messages we send are equally important, in regards to communication, as the verbal messages.  Actually, I was having a conversation today with someone while I was trying to watch my kids at a pool and I was so aware that I was not giving my full attention to the conversation that I actually felt bad.  I would have never even thought of it had it not been for this class.  I would have considered it multitasking, not as being rude!  I am amazed at how my perception has changed in only two weeks.  I can't wait to see where I am six more from now.  I can't wait to see where we all are!!

Blog post - week 1 Communication and Collaboration

     Well, if I were going to choose someone who demonstrates competent communication in the context of family issues, it would be my basically "adopted mother" Donna.  We call her "Mom", "Auntie Donna" and sometimes "Mimi".  When I was in college, I would come home for breaks and vacations to Auntie Donna's house to live since my family moved away to another state and so she was like my adopted mom.  What was different about her kind of communication was that it was the first experience I had with unconditional love and acceptance and this influenced the kind of communication we had.  I will always remember having an argument with her and I must have looked terrified because as we were hashing things out, she looked at me and said, "Cari, I need you to know that even though we are having a fight, I still love you."  This was a very powerful statement for me at this time because my past had taught me that when I became too difficult, I was no longer worth the trouble.  To hear that regardless of my behavior or my attitude, she was going to love me  no matter what?  This was a life changing realization for me.
     When it comes to my own children, I use this same kind of philosophy.  My oldest just turned 12 and we have had this conversation already, that no matter how he behaves I love him regardless and I always will!!  I hope he feels the safety and the love that I felt when Auntie Donna said it to me.  It also made me feel important and I always want my kids to feel important enough to me that I will never walk away from them or forget about them and that I am always here for them.  They may not like what I have to say all the time but I will always be truthful and I will always have their best interest at heart,  This is the kind of communication I want to have with most people.  I want to be honest and open and loving because I believe the average person really appreciates it.  As do I.

Professional Hopes and Goals - week 8

     Over the past eight weeks we have learned about diversity and equity in the field of early childhood.  I have one major hope for myself as a result of this class and it is this:
     I hope to continue to learn about the issues related to diversity and equity for my whole career and to never stop!  The issues that come with diversity alone are so broad but also so important that it seems a little daunting to me to face them at all but I know they are so important for the future of our country and the future for our children.
     The goal I would set for the field of early childhood would be to make diversity training mandatory for all directors and assistant directors out there.  We need to have leaders that care about this issue and that have a passion and a vision for change so we can have a brighter future.
     Lastly, I would like to thank those of you who are reading this post for sharing your stories, life experiences and your questions with me.  If we all take the time to learn from each other, and truly listen to each other's perspective, I believe we can be part of the future of change.  Thank you so much for teaching me about your perspectives and for listening to my stories as well.  I wish you good luck in the next class, maybe I will see you there!?  Take care!

Welcoming a Family from Around the World Week 7

If I was going to have the time to welcome a new child to my class from another country (like Taiwan for example) in a way that would make the child and his/her family feel welcomed and important I would do the following:

1.  Before the family arrived, I would make a few of the pictures we use in the classroom and label with the written word, labeled with the words in their native language.
2.  Next I would try to have the child's name on his/her cubby, labeled both in English and Mandarin so the child's home culture could be recognized as being important as well as his new English speaking culture.
3.  I would try to research the country where the student was from like the geography of Taiwan and what the culture there is like in order to familiarize myself so I can help the child feel welcome.
4.  Another thing that I think would be important would be to be sure to read through the file carefully of the child entering.  Our entrance interview would be very informative about the child himself and it would help me learn about him personally not just the country he came from.
5.  Lastly, I would try to learn how to say a few phrases like "Good morning" and "Goodbye" in mandarin so I could great the parents every morning in their own language and say goodbye as well.  I think this would make them realize that they are important enough for me to do some research about and that I want to learn about them and connect with them.

Not only will these preparations benefit me by expanding my knowledge and making me more sensitive to cultural similarities, but they will also allow the family to see that I am trying.  This will be beneficial because it will create a foundation of trust and openness that I would want with all of the families in my class.

Bias, Prejudice and Oppression - Week - 6

This assignment is interesting to me because it made me think of a social experiment my middle school teachers conducted using my seventh grade class over twenty years ago.  We had been learning about discrimination and the teachers wanted to give us a small look at how it felt to be in the middle of a real situation where people were being discriminated against.  Now, keep in mind I went to a very small school with an average class size of about 15 students per grade and I was able to have a very unique schooling experience.  That being said, I have not even thought of this particular instance in many years but it definitely made a mark on me personally.

So one day when I went to school, something was very different than the day before.  As our morning began, certain kids were made to sit in the back of the classroom.  We found this odd but did not say anything as we were not suspecting anything strange was going on...yet.  As the day continued, the different treatment of those same students continued and escalated.  They went from being made to sit in the back of the classroom, to being made to stand.  From being asked to sit by themselves, away from the other students, to being asked to sit alone and not talk to anyone.  One of the students being discriminated against was a good friend of mine and I remember feeling so mad at the teachers for treating him unfairly.

By the end of the experiment, I was starting to just join my friend in whatever the alternate activity was, like I remember refusing the chair if my friend was denied a chair and refusing to speak if my friend was forbidden to speak.  I was so mad by the end of the experiment, as many of my classmates were, that they actually ended it early.  Apparently we were not being cooperative enough.  One of the best results from this activity was that we were able to have a very honest discussion about oppression and what we would do if we saw oppression in action, or what we would not do.

Obviously this experiment had a big impact on me.  I think the greatest outcome for me was it made me realize that even though I may have gotten in trouble for disobeying a teacher, I cared less about getting in trouble than I did about the poor treatment of my friends.  This is true for me to this day.  I would rather face consequences for standing up for what I know is right, than see someone being oppressed and not do anything about it.

Week 4 - Microaggressions

The topic of microaggressions was a new one to me.  I have experienced them but I never knew they had a name.  The best way to describe a microaggression is by saying that they are those small comments or acts that are insulting but not on purpose.  For example, imagine a woman discussing her diet with an acquaintance and during the conversation, she tells the acquaintance she is a vegan.  The other woman responds by saying, "Wow, I never would have guessed you were a vegetarian because you seem so well put together."  Now, "well put together" is not an insult but the hidden message in there is that most vegetarians are not well put together.

Please pardon the example, I hold nothing against vegetarians, I am simply trying to give an example of a microaggression.  Many times these statements are made with regards to people's race or sexual preference but personally, I have experienced them in normal everyday situations that I experience as a wife and mother.  Back when I was a stay at home mom, people used to ask me what I did for a living and after telling them I stayed home with my kids, I was often greeted with smiles and "Oh, that must be nice".  Now I remember at the time feeling not important because I couldn't share work stories or anything with my working friends and in this kind of situation, I always felt like the person asking would not be able to understand me at all so why try to explain.  BUT the reality of the situation was that staying home was nice, but it also required a lot of sacrifice.  There was a person kind of being condescending about me not having a job, while my husband and I were going without many things so I could stay with my kids and sow seeds into them as people.

My experiential reality was definitely invalidated during this time and now looking back, I realize why I felt caught and never knew what to say.  I did not want to be insulting back, but I also did not want the person I was talking with to completely misunderstand me.  This week was a very eye-opening week.  It changed my perspective and made me want to try to be very careful about what I say.

Week Three Diversity and Equity

We have been discussing culture and diversity in our third week of class and I asked some of my friends and family member to discuss the definition of both culture and diversity.  The answers surprised me and I felt everyone enjoyed the topic and we had some great conversations about culture as a result.  The three main people I asked were my brother in law who grew up outside the U.S., my friend who grew up in an Italian-American family and my husband who grew up in a French Canadian family mixed with an English family.  I chose these three because I knew their childhood were very different from my own and I respect their thinking and I wanted to see what they said.

Some of the answers I heard while defining culture were words like: race, ethnicity, traditions, food, mind sets, beliefs, geography, religion, social class, spending habits, language, occupation, gender, appearances and values.

Some of the answers given to define the word diversity were: "All of the above."  meaning everyone is included, someone said universality and also someone said, acceptance of the differing types of cultures we just spoke of. we learned, we

As far as what we have learned, I was fascinated to hear what my friends had to say given that they do not have any of the background or resources that I do as a grad student.  I was actually pretty impressed with their answers.  The biggest difference I found was how none of them really discussed the family culture.  No one talked about how your parents or the number of siblings you have can influence your culture.  Besides that, I was thoroughly impressed with their insight and their candor.