I do not think I am alone when I say this class has been very eye opening for me. I have learned so much about my own communication skills (or lack there of), the communication skills of those around me and the purposes of collaboration. I feel so fortunate to have been able to take this class and I believe I will review the resources regularly as I continue on through my career. Thank you to my colleagues for reading my discussion posts and my blog and for sharing your insights and experiences!
I appreciate you!!
I hope to see many of you in my next class but for those of you who are moving on to a different journey than mine, good luck and I hope you do well! We are the future of this field and I am proud to share that responsibility with many of you! See you soon!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Adjourning Week - 6
This week we have learned about being a part of a group and the 5 different stages that are involved in a group's development. The last stage is the adjourning stage when a group's members dissipate and move on to the next group or project. Right now I am about to leave the group of women I have worked with for the past two years. An opportunity has surfaced for me to change jobs and I am going to take it! I have enjoyed working where I have been but it also has been difficult at times and I am actually looking forward to leaving even though I love the women themselves.
Since we have been learning about groups this week, I have been thinking about the many groups I have been a part of. I have played sports, worked for restaurants, had roommates in college, lived in a close knit family and now I have my own family who is my primary group. The hardest group I ever had to leave was the family I grew up in. My senior year of high school my older sisters both moved to Virginia and my younger sister and mom moved to Florida. Saying goodbye was very difficult, not because I would never see them again, but because things would never be the same again. This is not a bad thing all the time, but it can be hard.
I suppose that as we adjourn, we become enabled to learn from a new experience rather than staying in the same group. I guess we may be able to say that it is our moving on, that helps us grow.
Since we have been learning about groups this week, I have been thinking about the many groups I have been a part of. I have played sports, worked for restaurants, had roommates in college, lived in a close knit family and now I have my own family who is my primary group. The hardest group I ever had to leave was the family I grew up in. My senior year of high school my older sisters both moved to Virginia and my younger sister and mom moved to Florida. Saying goodbye was very difficult, not because I would never see them again, but because things would never be the same again. This is not a bad thing all the time, but it can be hard.
I suppose that as we adjourn, we become enabled to learn from a new experience rather than staying in the same group. I guess we may be able to say that it is our moving on, that helps us grow.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Conflict Resolution Wk 5
This week was all about conflict and conflict resolution. We were challenged to examine a conflict we have had at work or personally and to see if we would handle it differently now that we know what we know. I think for me the answer is "YES!!" I am currently involved in a long-term conflict with a family member and knowing what I do now, I definitely would have handled things differently if I could do it over again.
Unfortunately, I am afraid the damage has been done and the relationship involved may be forever damaged. If I could do it all over again, I would focus on common goals and needs and I would stop the conversation if communication turned to insults. Unfortunately, many insults were made and many feelings were hurt and now, I do not even know if the work to fix the relationship would be worth the shadow of a relationship we used to have. Maybe it is possible. I believe it would take a miracle to heal the damage that has been done.
Unfortunately, I am afraid the damage has been done and the relationship involved may be forever damaged. If I could do it all over again, I would focus on common goals and needs and I would stop the conversation if communication turned to insults. Unfortunately, many insults were made and many feelings were hurt and now, I do not even know if the work to fix the relationship would be worth the shadow of a relationship we used to have. Maybe it is possible. I believe it would take a miracle to heal the damage that has been done.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Evaluation Results WK 4
This week, I filled out three questionnaires about my personal communication style. After I completed them, I asked my husband and my friend who is also a colleague to fill out the same questionnaires about me. The results that I got were basically the same as my friend and husband. What surprised me the most was that my husband actually got the exact same results as I did. My friend got slightly different numbers but the same result as me.
What I realized as a result of this week was that I need to be careful to not trust too easily even though I think trust is very important for relationships. I also learned that I apparently am able to identify my own communication abilities which I was not sure if I could do. I really wanted my husband to fill out the surveys because I know he knows me best and to see that not only did we get the same group results but we actually got the exact same number as results, speaks to my one self-concept. This was an interesting week. Can't wait to see what comes next!
What I realized as a result of this week was that I need to be careful to not trust too easily even though I think trust is very important for relationships. I also learned that I apparently am able to identify my own communication abilities which I was not sure if I could do. I really wanted my husband to fill out the surveys because I know he knows me best and to see that not only did we get the same group results but we actually got the exact same number as results, speaks to my one self-concept. This was an interesting week. Can't wait to see what comes next!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Communicating Across Cultures WK 3
It is amazing how much my own concept of culture has changed over the course of getting my master's degree thus far. I used to have the understanding of culture as being this general definition of who we are based on where we live or where our parents maybe lived. What I see now is that culture is far deeper than just where you grew up or where your parents are from. As we communicate with anyone who is not in our immediate family, we are communicating cross-culturally. Today, I went to a family barbecue, held by my neighbors whom I had never spent any time with. In my family we have family get-togethers that are normal for us. This gathering was very different than the type of gathering I am used to. We live literally five houses away from this family and our cultures are very different.
What I have noticed is that the common bond that seems to form an instant foundation for communicating across cultures is kids. When you ask about someone's child, and are truly interested in him/her the adult you are talking to will usually offer information and seem pleased to talk about their child with you. Another thing I have learned is that people do not like to hear about your children when they do not ask. I have watched people offer advice to people who have not asked for it and it seems not well received.
Our assignment this week is to share how we speak to other culture differently and I guess my answer is, yes, I speak carefully. I certainly do not talk about sensitive matters like religion or politics. I simply stick with things like weather and kids. We all have those two things in common it seems. I am still learning but I will continue to practice and neighborhood parties that are out of my comfort zone might just be one of the best ways to learn.
What I have noticed is that the common bond that seems to form an instant foundation for communicating across cultures is kids. When you ask about someone's child, and are truly interested in him/her the adult you are talking to will usually offer information and seem pleased to talk about their child with you. Another thing I have learned is that people do not like to hear about your children when they do not ask. I have watched people offer advice to people who have not asked for it and it seems not well received.
Our assignment this week is to share how we speak to other culture differently and I guess my answer is, yes, I speak carefully. I certainly do not talk about sensitive matters like religion or politics. I simply stick with things like weather and kids. We all have those two things in common it seems. I am still learning but I will continue to practice and neighborhood parties that are out of my comfort zone might just be one of the best ways to learn.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Non-Verbal Communication (Week 2)
For this week's assignment we were instructed to watch a television show that we were not familiar with while the volume was turned down to see what we could learn about the show, based on the non-verbal communication taking place. I chose a show I had never watched called "Psych". From what I could gather without the volume, this show is about a man, possibly a police officer, and his partner (I am assuming) and I think they were trying to solve a crime. The two men were working with police officers who looked and acted more like police officers but they did not always look happy with the two men. I got the feeling that they were tolerant of the men, but they did not necessarily enjoy their presence. At one point in this episode, one of the men's parents were involved (I assume they were his parents based on the greeting they gave each other). This show moved quickly from scene to scene and was not very entertaining to watch without the volume up.
About halfway through the show, I turned the volume up and it seemed like I was basically right about most of my assumptions. There was a lot of dialogue during the second half of the show and even though they did not introduce themselves, I am pretty sure most of my assumptions were correct. I do believe that there are shows that O watch on a regular basis that I could probably know what is happening with no volume, based on the watching the characters. I think being familiar with a person makes that person's body language familiar so much so that you do not need to hear what they are saying.
A good example of this is how familiar I am with my own children's body language. I can tell from across a playground, without hearing a word, if they are having a problem with each other or with another kid, just by their body language. At the same time, I can know if they have made a friend or are tired or bored. They are my kids and I make it my job to know what they want, even when they may not know it yet.
I think what this assignment has taught me is that the non-verbal messages we send are equally important, in regards to communication, as the verbal messages. Actually, I was having a conversation today with someone while I was trying to watch my kids at a pool and I was so aware that I was not giving my full attention to the conversation that I actually felt bad. I would have never even thought of it had it not been for this class. I would have considered it multitasking, not as being rude! I am amazed at how my perception has changed in only two weeks. I can't wait to see where I am six more from now. I can't wait to see where we all are!!
About halfway through the show, I turned the volume up and it seemed like I was basically right about most of my assumptions. There was a lot of dialogue during the second half of the show and even though they did not introduce themselves, I am pretty sure most of my assumptions were correct. I do believe that there are shows that O watch on a regular basis that I could probably know what is happening with no volume, based on the watching the characters. I think being familiar with a person makes that person's body language familiar so much so that you do not need to hear what they are saying.
A good example of this is how familiar I am with my own children's body language. I can tell from across a playground, without hearing a word, if they are having a problem with each other or with another kid, just by their body language. At the same time, I can know if they have made a friend or are tired or bored. They are my kids and I make it my job to know what they want, even when they may not know it yet.
I think what this assignment has taught me is that the non-verbal messages we send are equally important, in regards to communication, as the verbal messages. Actually, I was having a conversation today with someone while I was trying to watch my kids at a pool and I was so aware that I was not giving my full attention to the conversation that I actually felt bad. I would have never even thought of it had it not been for this class. I would have considered it multitasking, not as being rude! I am amazed at how my perception has changed in only two weeks. I can't wait to see where I am six more from now. I can't wait to see where we all are!!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Blog post - week 1 Communication and Collaboration
Well, if I were going to choose someone who demonstrates competent communication in the context of family issues, it would be my basically "adopted mother" Donna. We call her "Mom", "Auntie Donna" and sometimes "Mimi". When I was in college, I would come home for breaks and vacations to Auntie Donna's house to live since my family moved away to another state and so she was like my adopted mom. What was different about her kind of communication was that it was the first experience I had with unconditional love and acceptance and this influenced the kind of communication we had. I will always remember having an argument with her and I must have looked terrified because as we were hashing things out, she looked at me and said, "Cari, I need you to know that even though we are having a fight, I still love you." This was a very powerful statement for me at this time because my past had taught me that when I became too difficult, I was no longer worth the trouble. To hear that regardless of my behavior or my attitude, she was going to love me no matter what? This was a life changing realization for me.
When it comes to my own children, I use this same kind of philosophy. My oldest just turned 12 and we have had this conversation already, that no matter how he behaves I love him regardless and I always will!! I hope he feels the safety and the love that I felt when Auntie Donna said it to me. It also made me feel important and I always want my kids to feel important enough to me that I will never walk away from them or forget about them and that I am always here for them. They may not like what I have to say all the time but I will always be truthful and I will always have their best interest at heart, This is the kind of communication I want to have with most people. I want to be honest and open and loving because I believe the average person really appreciates it. As do I.
When it comes to my own children, I use this same kind of philosophy. My oldest just turned 12 and we have had this conversation already, that no matter how he behaves I love him regardless and I always will!! I hope he feels the safety and the love that I felt when Auntie Donna said it to me. It also made me feel important and I always want my kids to feel important enough to me that I will never walk away from them or forget about them and that I am always here for them. They may not like what I have to say all the time but I will always be truthful and I will always have their best interest at heart, This is the kind of communication I want to have with most people. I want to be honest and open and loving because I believe the average person really appreciates it. As do I.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)